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At that point, I realized that my lonely life welcomed the commotion of a tiny
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By:
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dominiclobriza
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Mood:
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in love
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Date:
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08/19/2010 06:22:54
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Music:
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None
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At that point, I realized that my lonely life welcomed the commotion of a tiny
At that point, I realized that my lonely life welcomed the commotion of a tiny, angry kitten who would distract me from my own Tory Burch Flats depressing thoughts. With the arrival of the kitten, I pulled my energy away from myself and my fretful imaginings and concentratcd on healing Flora. Along with ringworms and fleas, she had a terrible viral infection that had ulcerated her tongue, cheeks and throat. I knew all about ulcers in the mouth, so I sympathized wholeheartedly with this miserable condition. It took weeks, but slowly Flora healed, and along the way we bonded. Soon, she was a loving, trusting ball of black-and-white fuzz who met me at my door each evening when I returned from work. The loneliness of my apartment vanished, and I cherished the success of our health venture together. Although my own future looked uncertain, success with Flora was something I could achieve.
Only weeks after I'd finally nursed Flora back to some resemblance of healthy kittenhood, she was diagnosed with feline leukemia. Cancer. Her veterinarian gave her the same sorry prognosis my oncologist had given me: Flora would most likely die within a year or two. My response was instant and unconscious. As soon as Flora's vet handed down the diagnosis, I wrote her off as a lost cause. Quickly, my emotional attachment to her ceased as I began protecting myself from the pain of her death, which I knew would come. The veterinarian told me Flora would die and I simply accepted this. I stopped speaking and playing with Flora because when I did, I ended up sobbing hysterically for my kitten. 1 even found it difficult to look at her. But Flora simply wouldn't let me pull away. When I'd walk mbt shoes clearance past her, she'd chase after me. Her paw touched my Skechers shape ups cheek hesitantly each night as she curled up next to me in bed, her purr resonant and strong. If my mood was chilly, she seemed not to notice. Flora did what cats do best: she waited and watched.
Her patience finally won out. One night I had an "AHA!" experience about my attitude toward Flora. How could 1 believe my own cancer wasn't a death sentence when I couldn't see the same hope for her? How could I dismiss any being without dismissing myself? Although I was busy blathering about hope and healing, I knew that I honestly saw myself in the grave.
That realization was a Tory Burch Shoes profound turning point for me. While slow in coming, it finally hit me like a downpour of hailstones. How often in my life had I turned away from pain and loss, and from honest feelings? Living at "half-life," I'd put away emotion at the first inkling of loss, and nearly lost myself in the process.
One night shortly after my mbt awakening, I lit a mbt shoes candle for Flora and myself. We sat together looking at the flame, and I Tory Burch vowed to Flora that I would love her with wild abandon for as long as she was with me because loving her felt so good. www.solecolor.com
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